NikPicky

Shahs of Sunset. Not gonna lie…its my new television obsession. Its ridiculous and totally brainless entertainment but what can I say? Those Persians lead interesting lives. And GG, how gorg is she?! Its too bad she has to say things like “theres two things I hate, ants and ugly people”. She looks very unattractive saying that.

So confession Sun…there it is. Dont judge me and hopefully my television preferences do not lead people to conclusions about me…I really am, completely opposite which is probably why I find the Bravo channel alluring. Its like an unfamiliar world I will never be caught dead in.

Alrighty you party people. I am back! I know that you have all been patiently awaiting my return…put away the tissue boxes, here I am. So many changes I hope to update about in the coming weeks. I began my new job which is the BOMB-DOT-COM. I hope to share some adventures of that in the coming weeks as well. Basically, I get paid to travel to different places (hows that for a clue…trying to keep up my mysterious lifestyle dun dun dun!). Anywho, on a lighter note. Who finally found bangles that will fit her insanely skinny wrists without falling off and causing a ruckus of noise on the ground?! This girl! I love the bright colors of them as well…it is perfecto for Spring!

I am just gonna pretend that my computer didn’t just erase a huge chunk of my final project for my ex employer. Yup. It NEVER happened. 

Crying my eyes out as we speak.

I’m a couple days late but I’ve finally determined my new year’s resolutions. 

1. Putting myself first. I’m not embarrassed to say that I started seeing a therapist at the later part of the year. Before you think I’m crazy…my reason for going was that I was in a place where I was stuck…where I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything was overwhelming and so instead of seeking out advice from my friends and family (bless their hearts, I LOVE THEM and will always seek their opinion but I know it’s hard to sometimes “keep it real” with people you love) I decided to seek an outsider’s opinion. Someone who would be able to shed some perspective in a completely non-biased way. After a few sessions my therapist and I determined that a big issue with me is that I never put myself first. And by this I don’t necessarily mean just with my time or attention but more importantly, my feelings. I have a tendency to always think about how something will effect someone else…I have a hard time swallowing the fact that how I am feeling is often more important than what someone else is feeling. The old me would keep things to myself with fear that saying something would cause drama and therefore cause the other person ache or bad feelings. This scenario basically DROVE ME CRAZY FOR YEARS. However after IDing it as an issue for me, I’ve been working on changing my communication patterns and feel a lot better. Of course this release of “putting my feelings first” sparked the biggest blow out fight I’ve ever had with my ex (screaming, cussing, hanging up and ignoring phone calls back…it was bad)…which surprisingly, my therapist commended me on, sighting it as “progress”. And in an even more interesting twist, my ex (after the fire was put out) and I talked and he basically told me that he was happy I let him have it and that he, in some way, felt closer to me. It even sparked him to cancel his entire trip to Seattle for New Years to stay with me (no we are not together still…its complicated…he’s moving away in a few weeks so yeah). So maybe putting myself first isn’t such a bad thing after all. 

2. Pass Flight School. Next week marks the beginning of 6 weeks of die hard training for my new job…I’m talking…we must get 90% on EVERYTHING in order to stay in the training. Anything less, you are dropped like a douche bag trying to hit on another man’s girl. 

3. Healthier Choices. I’m not gonna put out some resolution about running 5 times a week or cutting out meat entirely…cause I know I will not uphold that. Instead I’m going to strive to make healthier choices which honestly, for me, will mean actually eating…I get so busy a lot that I tend to skip meals and what not which I know it HORRIBLE for me so I’m gonna try my best to main a balanced diet mixed in with more active pass times. 

4. My crazy no Starbucks plan. Ok so I LOVE me so STARBUCKS. Everyone knows it. So my plan is not to have it for a whole year. Crazy talk…but what I plan on doing is the money I would normally spend per week on SBs is gonna go into a jar and then at the end of the year I’m gonna use that money to purchase something big for myself…I haven’t determined what that item is just yet but I have a year to figure it out. 

5. Taking one picture a day. I’m going to try to take a pic a day everyday and at the end of the year make my own coffee table book.

Thats it. Keeping it light this year. Kinda. I have a few “other” things I’d like to do that don’t really need defining like reading more (on my awesome ibooks app for iPad!) and 

-quit my job.

-got fitted for a uniform

-watched a long ass video about how to properly use my new airport access badge

OMG. I’m really doing it. I’m seriously changing my career. No turning back now. 

2012 is gonna be great…I can just feel it…=)

I just got off the phone with one of my exs…”baseball guy”. It was so nice to chat with him. We have always been friendly despite our break up. Speaking to him gave me hope that one day current ex and I will be able to be in a place where we can chat openly about everything without fear of hurt feelings and without remnants of romantic feelings. Baseball guy and I are in a great place…now if only I can recall how I got to that place with him. 

I GOT AN IPAD…LATE CHRISTMAS GIFT/APOLOGY GIFT.

I GOT THE JOB. WATCH OUT WORLD…HERE I COME!